Be the Best Version of You: How I Gained Confidence

I want to talk about something today that's very much a topic close to my heart. Without this turning into a full blown pity party, confidence is something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. Being a shy person all my life turned into the belief that somehow I wasn't good enough and that I couldn't be confident in myself. My main confidence issues concerned my appearance and my belief in myself, so I wanted to share a few tips on how I've slowly but surely began to accept myself for who I am and learned to love myself. Ps. this is going to be a long old post, so grab yourself a glass of water and a snack before you start reading!

1: EMBRACE AND ACCEPT YOUR IMPERFECTIONS
For the longest time, I wouldn't leave the house without makeup on and I'd constantly beat myself up over things I had absolutely no control over. I've always been insecure about my body and it's something I've only recently accepted. Being naturally slim due to a fast metabolism, I've always been told that I either a) need to eat a burger or b) need to go and see someone - when in reality, there was nothing wrong with me at all. I've began to accept that I am the shape I am because of my biology and there's little I can do to change it, so why not accept it? In terms of my face, I've accepted that I don't have the smallest nose or the smallest eyes, my front teeth cross over slightly after I chipped them as a child, my eyebrows aren't even, I do have spots occasionally - but this is me, and the day I stopped beating myself up over things I cannot change was the day I began to love my imperfections and see that they're what make me who I am.

2: WEAR AS LITTLE MAKE UP AS YOU CAN
Part of the issue with not being able to accept myself was that I didn't really know what I was like without a good primer, heavy duty foundation, different shades of concealer to hide and highlight, bronzer, blusher, highlighter, eyebrow powder, eyebrow gel, lipstick, lip gloss, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara. You get the idea. I'd set up the belief for myself that I wasn't good enough without makeup and that I should be embarrassed of what I look like when I'm not dressed up to the nines. Obviously, this was where I was going wrong. These days, if I'm not going anywhere particularly special I won't even wear any makeup. If I'm going to leave the house and need to look presentable, I'll just put on a bit of concealer, bronzer, blusher and mascara. Now that I don't put the pressure on myself to look 100% presentable 100% of the time, I feel so much happier and more confident in myself. Of course, I love makeup, but I love it so much more when I don't feel like I NEED it in my life.

3: REALISE WHOSE OPINIONS MATTER TO YOU
I've always worried about what other people think about me, but I have one word for you. DON'T. I know it's easier said than done, but these days the only thing I'm really concerned about is being healthy & happy, and not caring what people who have no real relevance to my life think about me. It's really helped me on my way to being truly happy. I know there are people out there who don't like me and have opinions on me, but truthfully, I couldn't care less. The only opinions I care for are of the people who really hold a special place in my life. If you can feel confident about yourself not wearing any makeup and casual clothes in front of someone, only their opinion on you matters, not a total stranger's. I used to be so preoccupied with what people thought of me when I left the house, but it didn't take me too long to see that nobody even cares. I can't say I've ever seen someone when I've been in the supermarket and thought "god their skin looks awful" or "their eyeliner isn't very neat". If someone sees you and thinks that, then their opinions shouldn't matter to you. They probably have much worse things in their life that they need to sort out before they are entitled to have an opinion on you.

4: DON'T SET IMPOSSIBLE GOALS FOR YOURSELF
I've seen a lot of tweets recently saying things along the lines of 'dress like you're going to see your enemy everyday'. I don't agree with this at all. If you're constantly putting pressure on yourself to look perfect and impress other people constantly then you're never going to be happy and confident. YOU should be the only person to care what you look like. Don't allow other people to dictate how you should look and how you should feel about yourself. Be yourself and don't be too concerned about impressing other people - no one looks perfect all the time and no one needs to look perfect all the time. You are who you are and you don't need to aspire to be any different.

Most importantly...
5: YOUR LOOKS DO NOT DEFINE YOU
More than likely, the people you care about most in your life couldn't care less about how you look or how you dress, they care about you as a person. If someone doesn't accept you despite all your flaws then they're not worthy of being in your life. You don't need people like that. I know for a fact that I'm not an oil painting. There are people out there who are 10x better looking, 10x more toned and have 10x more money than I'll ever have, but I know that I am a good, kind, caring person who is loved and that's all that really matters to me.